3 min read

It's Not Procrastination It's the Process

Last week, I received a WEW from my friend Dani B. and I didn't share it! Correcting that now. What I love about Dani's writing is that it's consistently an invitation for further thought. Here she likens gracefulness to being safe in one's body:

When I see Black women existing in their head and bodies on cloud nine it first reminds me what could be possible for myself, but how? I used the term graceful to describe her presence, but a better word might be safety. She appeared to feel safe and at home in herself, in her body.

And like Dani asks herself in her piece how can she have what is possible? I leave the piece asking myself, what would it mean to be safe in my own body? She answered the prompt and gifted me one in return.


Yesterday, I tweeted about how maybe all the time it takes me between writing sessions isn't procrastination, it's just part of my process. As our culture collectively reevaluates Hustle & Grind after a year where many things ground to a halt, we're learning that being productive for the sake of being able to say you're productive ain't it (but deadlines are real y'all!). And really, it's audacious of me to look the Universe dead in the face and demand that I be able to churn out these universal Truths – some thoughts take time.

Anyways, I tweeted this and then over on Instagram was chit-chatting with a friend about all the reading I'd been doing while procrastinating on writing my own book and she owned me with my on Tweet!

And then this morning, I read this super validating piece in the NYT about women who've chosen to be childless (Side note: Should I move to Berlin?! BYE, KENTUCKY!!). Guen Douglas says,

To say that one experience has a greater value over another undermines the experiences of people who don’t live a linear life, like queer and trans people. Are our lives less valuable? That’s where religion comes in. There’s homophobia in that thinking.
We still have this 1950s ideal of what a household should look like. As everything gets broken down, instead of just putting things back into the same order, it’s important to rebuild the way we want.
Women Who Said No to Motherhood
A photographer in Berlin is capturing the lives of the consciously child-free.

This made me think, "If time isn't linear? Then why should my life be?" This pressure that our lives have to accumulate toward something to mean anything is a lie and scam and at the root of so much anxiety about "falling behind" (but also it's totally okay accumulation is what your life looks like. What I'm saying is you're not obligated to feel bad if it doesn't). If you take that away and are able to appreciate your life as a series of disjointed experiences, something really beautiful happens, something freeing.

This helped me unlocked some ideas I've been swirling around in an essay I'm in the middle of for my book. So, yeah, maybe the procrastination reading is just my brain asking me to fuel it up so it can crack open some more Truths. Maybe brains and creativity are like bodies, if you pay attention they tell you what they need.

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